It's hard to be old.....

I have given care to the elderly my entire adult life.  It started out when I was eighteen.  I went to work at a nursing home as an aide.  I only cried twice....my first day and my last day.  I loved that job.  It was not easy but I loved each of the ladies I took care of.  It was my first lesson in the frailty of the aging process.

Aging is a process, it is a journey.  It does not happen over night.  It is something we, as every day people, know very little about.  Many of us have not ever been around old humans, let alone witnessed the aging process. Literally, the last frontier.

Old people have never been old before, so they do not know what to expect.  Many of their relatives did not live to the age that they are now. I am traveling that path with my husband's parents. My own parents never made it to old.

If you had never been around old people or the aging process, how would you know?  You wouldn't.

How will I be when I am old? I'll tell you how I hope I'll be:  I'd like to be well loved by my family and friends.  I'd like to be somewhat healthy.  I'd like to be pain free. I would like to keep my eyesight to the very end.  I'd like others to cook for me and bring me an adult beverage on a regular basis.  Maybe even a cigar once in a while. I'd like to be as gracious to receive help as I was giving help.  I'd like to keep my long hair no matter how grey or thin it gets. I'd like to have a housekeeper. I want to wear cotton clothes and smell like citrus, lavender, and patchouli.

As silly as all that sounds, those are actually the things that will matter to me.  How do I know this?  Like I said before, I have been an observer and participant with the elderly my whole life.  I've seen the aging process up close and personal.

I'm not afraid of aging because I have a daughter who is as close to me as a daughter could be.  I also have grandchildren who love me. They, too, have seen my husband's parents age.  They have also seen me model how to take care of them.  It will not be a shock to them nor will aging be a mystery to them. It is as it should be.  I have confidence we will get through this journey of life: together......with love.

September 11, 2012

A day to remember.  Our lives have been forever changed.  So much impact on that day that we catch ourselves saying either "before 9/11" or "since 9/11".

Is this how people felt after Pearl Harbor?

Is this how people in Japan felt after the atomic bombs?

Is this how people felt in Germany after the Holocaust?

Enough said.

A Word About Family

Family requires effort.  Effort to get together for yet another family dinner.  Effort to make it to the birthday party....again. Effort to fix a meal for the family.  Effort to send a note of encouragement.  Effort to clean the house for family visits.  Effort to work in the schedule for a family reunion. Effort to help with the dishes.  Effort to make a covered dish.  Effort to drive over to a family member's house.  Effort to call and check in. Effort to help a family member out. 

Why all this effort?  Is it worth it?  What do we get out of it?

I'll tell you.

When you put forth the effort during the good and happy times, it doesn't really seem like effort at all when there are bad times.

I love my family.

A love letter to my husband...

Dear Man,

We have been married forty years.  Can you believe it?  Forty seems like a lot and yet it doesn't seem like we have been together that long.

I just want to thank you for the wonderful ride through life, so far. We have been to wonderful places, we have suffered a few of life's tragedies, raised a daughter, and have thoroughly enjoyed our grand children.  We did it together.

We have had poor times and rich times.  We made it through the economic hard times of just starting a life together.  Remember when we only had five dollars to spend for our own food AFTER buying baby formula?  Thank goodness TV dinners were on sale! We knew we would laugh about it some day.  And, we did.  And now, we get to enjoy the fruits of our labors. 

We have had sickness and health. Not just the sickness and health of the two of us, but sickness and health of our daughter, son-in-law, grandchildren, our parents, and other family members. Those times always brought out the best in each of us. Times when all we could do was to hold each others hands.  No words, just love strength.

I have loved and cherished you for the last forty years and will continue.  I wish this kind of love for all. As I have said before......you are my favorite husband!  Happy Anniversary in our little place of heaven on Earth, Puerto Vallarta!

Love, Chick

Deer Hunting

I was over at the daughter's house the other day.  It is Fall and the kids are just now starting to have to stay indoors more often.  A hard transition from Summer to Winter.  Boredom was setting in on the girls and the six year old ran into the room and asked her dad if he could take them deer hunting.  Deer hunting??  Here is the explanation:


There is an open field across the street from the daughter's house.  Deer have been spotted there.  One night my son-in-law loaded up the little girls in his truck and they drove across the street, over the curb and into the field.  He shut off the engine and kept the head lights on.  They counted fourteen deer in the field eating.  The girls were amazed.  That was deer hunting.